u l t r a m o o k i e

Overheard at dinner tonight. Dude sitting at table next to us at Fresh Choice, a salad/buffet place, talking on his mobile phone with someone:
“Hey, what’s up man?…No, I just got out of my Weight Watchers meeting…Maybe next time…Yea, I’m trying to eat healthy…”
The dude had a huge beer belly that expanded out and [...]

I hate mall kiosks. Hate.
If I were to flip out…
The Scientology “Stress” Kiosk:
Reply with non-nonsensical answers to their questions, all the while holding a 9-volt battery and throwing off their little machine.
The “Warm Beads” Kiosk:
Them: “Hi, would you like to try this warm bead pad?”
Me: “Sure! Oh, man, [...]

Everyone have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Four letters: K, C, U, F. Put it together, kcuf. Nothing bad about those four letters that way. But, when you reverse the same four uninteresting letters, people start to plug their ears…people start to complain…lawsuits are filed…media companies sued…movies get their ratings changed from PG-13 to R. Four [...]

Eileen accidentally deleted the first two episodes of this season’s Heroes this morning. When she told me, I wasn’t disappointed at all. I was kind of relieved. I watched the premiere and about half of the second episode — and that was it. Thinking about it today, I don’t think [...]

Dear Editors and Proofreaders at Linux Journal,
I find your magazine informative and fun to read at times. But, recently, your magazine has made me grind my teeth because of the horrible editing. Editing an article does not mean running it through a spell-checker and giving it a thumbs up. Editing an [...]

If you’re a regular reader, you won’t notice any ads on ultramookie.com because I only show them to people who arrive via major search engines (aol, ask, google, msn, and yahoo).
Only recently have I started tracking just how well each group of searchers perform. Now that I have some data, it is really interesting [...]