u l t r a m o o k i e

Here’s the super secret iPhone 2.0 strategy.  I got it from Steve* himself.

Promise all sorts of new features before iPhone 2.0 software is available.  Fanboys go wild.

Rush iPhone 2.0 software out the door, when it is really not ready — it’s buggy as hell, crashes, and is slow.  People have to reboot their iPhones every day to keep it running — hey, just like Windows.  Fanboys rejoice as they have new software.  Fanboys go out and defend this shitty software because…well, they are Apple fanboys and Steve Jobs is their diety…and they must defend their diety.

Every few weeks bump the revision number of the software, but really don’t fix anything.  In the release notes, be as vague as possible — say something like, “Bug Fixes”.  Fanboys install, get the placebo effect, and go wild.  Fanboys cheer and are happy that Apple “fixed” something — when secretly, all Apple did was bump the VERSION_NUMBER constant in one of the header files and recompile the whole thing.

Meanwhile, try as hard as possible to fix the iPhone 2.0 software and get what would have been the real release out the door — you know, like any respectable software developer would:  Release a tested and fixed software sans any major bugs.

Thanks Apple for your backasswards way of releasing the iPhone 2.0 software.  I really wish I had stuck with 1.1.4 and waited things out.  Apple you’re becoming more and more like Microsoft.  With the iPhone 2.0 software, I kept thinking to myself:  “Crap, I should have waited for Service Pack 1 before I upgraded.“  Ironic, huh?

*Steve “Mookie” Kong, that is.