u l t r a m o o k i e

Here’s the super secret iPhone 2.0 strategy.  I got it from Steve* himself.
Promise all sorts of new features before iPhone 2.0 software is available.  Fanboys go wild.
Rush iPhone 2.0 software out the door, when it is really not ready — it’s buggy as hell, crashes, and is slow.  People have to reboot their iPhones every [...]

Here’s the super secret iPhone 2.0 strategy.  I got it from Steve* himself.

Promise all sorts of new features before iPhone 2.0 software is available.  Fanboys go wild.

Rush iPhone 2.0 software out the door, when it is really not ready — it’s buggy as hell, crashes, and is slow.  People have to reboot their iPhones every day to keep it running — hey, just like Windows.  Fanboys rejoice as they have new software.  Fanboys go out and defend this shitty software because…well, they are Apple fanboys and Steve Jobs is their diety…and they must defend their diety.

Every few weeks bump the revision number of the software, but really don’t fix anything.  In the release notes, be as vague as possible — say something like, “Bug Fixes”.  Fanboys install, get the placebo effect, and go wild.  Fanboys cheer and are happy that Apple “fixed” something — when secretly, all Apple did was bump the VERSION_NUMBER constant in one of the header files and recompile the whole thing.

Meanwhile, try as hard as possible to fix the iPhone 2.0 software and get what would have been the real release out the door — you know, like any respectable software developer would:  Release a tested and fixed software sans any major bugs.

Thanks Apple for your backasswards way of releasing the iPhone 2.0 software.  I really wish I had stuck with 1.1.4 and waited things out.  Apple you’re becoming more and more like Microsoft.  With the iPhone 2.0 software, I kept thinking to myself:  “Crap, I should have waited for Service Pack 1 before I upgraded.“  Ironic, huh?

*Steve “Mookie” Kong, that is.

This will probably slip through the news since there’s this consistent Viagra driven love for Apple.  But, for those of you interested (from the Wall Street Journal):
Apple raised hackles in computer-privacy and security circles when an independent engineer discovered code inside the iPhone that suggested iPhones routinely check an Apple Web site that could, in [...]

This will probably slip through the news since there’s this consistent Viagra driven love for Apple.  But, for those of you interested (from the Wall Street Journal):

Apple raised hackles in computer-privacy and security circles when an independent engineer discovered code inside the iPhone that suggested iPhones routinely check an Apple Web site that could, in theory trigger the removal of the undesirable software from the devices.

Mr. Jobs confirmed such a capability exists, but argued that Apple needs it in case it inadvertently allows a malicious program — one that stole users’ personal data, for example — to be distributed to iPhones through the App Store.

I guess Uncle Steve is really trying to tell people that All Your Ifones Belong To Him.

As an effort to help streamline hiring at work, we are now doing interviews with representatives from different groups under the same business group umbrella.  I don’t know how the hell I got picked, but I represent my group during these interviews.  I hate interviews.  I hate getting interviewed.  I hate giving interviews.  I have [...]

As an effort to help streamline hiring at work, we are now doing interviews with representatives from different groups under the same business group umbrella.  I don’t know how the hell I got picked, but I represent my group during these interviews.  I hate interviews.  I hate getting interviewed.  I hate giving interviews.  I have only one standard tech question that I ask interviewees:

• Given the string “aaaabbbccdddddeefaabbbbccef”, write a script for me that returns:  “4a3b2c5d2e1f2a4b2c1e1f”.  This was a question that was asked by my former director when I was interviewing to join Yahoo!.  It’s a pretty nice question that lets me see how one thinks through a problem (or even if someone tries to think through a problem.  The answer seems easy, but it has some twists.

Other than that, I try to ask questions that are based on the resume of the interviewed.  Know Perl?  Tell me the easiest way I can get only the hosts common between two text files.  Know Red Hat Enterprise Linux?  Tell me the easiest way to find out the CPU in a box and how many cores it has.  Vi or Emacs?

I’m curious, what kind of questions have you gotten or do you give at interviews.  What do you think about the whole interview process?

My GQ NX-L513 (aka ECS LS51II, aka $399 notebook) is a cool machine. It is still rather speedy and it still runs great. It just turned One in April and I wanted to upgrade for a few reasons:

I wanted something smaller that is willing to travel.  The NS-L513 is a 15.4″ monster that [...]

My GQ NX-L513 (aka ECS LS51II, aka $399 notebook) is a cool machine. It is still rather speedy and it still runs great. It just turned One in April and I wanted to upgrade for a few reasons:

• I wanted something smaller that is willing to travel.  The NS-L513 is a 15.4″ monster that is really built to live at home.
• I wanted to have that extra “core”.
• More to the first point, I wanted a processor that was more battery efficient and that did not run at “holy crap, I’m 100%” all the time.  The Celeron M 420 is fast and it was fast all the time — no fancy SpeedStep.
• I wanted 802.11n (draft) speeds, since my D-Link DIR-655 is one of the routers that gets great 802.11n speeds.
• I wanted something with a DVD burner inside — the NX-L513 only had a DVD-ROM / CD-RW drive.
• Did I mention, I wanted something smaller?

The first machine I found was a HP dv2845se, which is a “special edition” notebook that comes with a (what I think) neat lid design and palm rest design.  It was on sale for $750 at Best Buy and that was a great deal for what was being sold:

• AMD Turion 64 X2 TL-62 [2.0Ghz]
• 4GB RAM
• 250GB HDD
• DVD-RW
• 14.1″ WXGA screen
• Nvidia GeForce Go 7150M
• 802.11b/g wifi

It was priced much less than some comparable machines (say from Dell) and HP is not a bad name to go with.  I had done my research at night and the morning after Best Buy pulled it from their website and said that it was no longer sold in stores.  Boo!

So, I looked around for another notebook with comparable specs and price.  What I found at Fry’s and Circuit City was the HP dv2910us.  It was a near match for the dv2845se, except that it was $50 more and had an Intel Core 2 Duo chip inside.  Yay!  I’ve always liked having Intel chips in my PCs, I don’t know why, but I do.  What do you all think about the whole Intel vs AMD thing?  Are they on about the same playfield now?  (Perfomance, power efficiency, etc.)  The dv2910us looks like this spec-wise:

• Intel Core 2 Duo T5550 (1.83Ghz)
• 3GB RAM
• 250GB HDD
• DVD-RW
• 14.1″ WXGA screen
• Intel X3100 Video (GM965)
• Intel 4965abg wifi (802.11 a/b/g/n)

And that was perfect.  I picked it up at Circuit City and have been tweaking it ever since.  It has less RAM than the dv2845se, but that’s OK, I think I’ll survive.  The dv2910us also has the high-gloss imprint on the lid and palm rests also.  It’s a different, more subtle one.  I’ll write more about the new notebook as I use it more.  The old GQ notebook will get a fresh install of Windows Vista Home Premium and then it will go to work with me to see if I can’t find it a nice new home.

I want to mention that I will never shop at Circuit City again.  I only bought the notebook at Circuit City because it was closer to my house (4 miles versus 12 miles compared with Fry’s, one way).  Fry’s and Circuit City both had the same price on the machine, so the cost of gas really made the decision for me.  During the purchase, I was asked no less than four times if I wanted the stupid “protection plan” (from three different people).  I was asked three times if I wanted “free” anti-virus software and a “free” printer (after mail-in rebate).

One guy, who I figured was a floor lead (because his shirt was black and not red) asked me the last time for the “free” printer and software to which I was steaming mad, this is how it went:

Him:  Are you sure you don’t want the free printer and software?

Me:  Sure, as long as it shows up as $0 on my receipt.

Him:  No, it’s a mail-in rebate.

Me:  Then it’s not free since I have to pay tax and postage.  Shut up.  Go away.

I was not steaming mad just because he was the third person to ask me about the “free” stuff, but he walked in late on the sale and started this conversation:

Him:  Do you want to get one of these external USB harddrives?

Me (politely):  No, thanks.

Him:  Are you sure?

Me (slightly less politely): Yes, I’m sure.

Him:  Ok, I just came out of a training recently and they told us there are two types of people.  Those that can recover their data and those that are destined to lose their data…(trailing off his voice to insinuate something).

Me:  Can you please leave now?  You’re unpleasant.  (Last part was in my head.)

I’m sorry stupid sales guy, I’m not your regular customer.  I’m sorry that you don’t see there are lots of other types of people out there like maybe the kind that has 4TB of storage at home in different locations, and a lot of that is dedicated to backups.  Sigh.  I’m sorry if you’re a dense dumb-ass.

Oh, and when the guy selling me the notebook first pulled out the notebook, he offered me an “optimization” service.  I was curious to what they would optimize.  He told me that for a fee, they would remove all unnecessary programs.  Really?  He’s going to charge me money to uninstall stuff?

I’ll never shop at Circuit City again.  At least at Fry’s, if you know what you want, you can just walk up and buy it.  Boo to Circuit City for such terrible service.

And lastly, to those of you were going to ask (since it seems like a question I have gotten a lot \):  No, I didn’t buy a Mac.  I have a PowerBook G4, it still works great.  It was very pricey and still has a way to go before it gets replaced (if at all).  The MacBooks are nice, but pricey also.  And I didn’t want a new Mac.

I was driving home the other night listening to news radio when I heard two car commercials almost back to back. The car companies were trying to push their CPO vehicles. CPO? You are asking yourself, what is that? It is a new marketing acronym for “Certified Pre-Owned”. It was [...]

I was driving home the other night listening to news radio when I heard two car commercials almost back to back. The car companies were trying to push their CPO vehicles. CPO? You are asking yourself, what is that? It is a new marketing acronym for “Certified Pre-Owned”. It was those two commercials that had me thinking about this rant.

It seems like we are speaking less and less in clear terms — and spending more time trying to obscure things with difficult language (or crazy acronyms). The only real reason to speak in long drawn out obscure English is to hide something.

CPO…Certified Pre-Owned Vehicle. Come on, say it like it is. These are used cars. You’re selling used cars. I don’t care how many of your mechanics look at the car. I don’t care how many “points” they check or what kind of new warranty comes with the car. These are still used cars. So what is someone trying to hide with CPO?

“What kind of car did you get?”

“Oh, I got a Certified Pre-Owned Mercedes!”

“Neat.”

Try it again, the way it is supposed to be…

“What kind of car did you get?”

“Uh, I got a used Mercedes…”

“Oh.”

These car companies are helping those image conscious (ie. the cheap vain bastards) look good when they buy a used car.

IED…Improvised Explosive Device. This one is particularly bad and overly used by the US Military and US Media. Come on, say it like it is. These are bombs. And if you really want to make it clear, these are bombs made by some terrorist in his basement. What are they trying to hide?

“An IED destroyed that Humvee.”

“Damn terrorists! They are using those IEDs!”

How about this:

“A f*cking BOMB blew up the Humvee!”

“Holy sh*t!!”

The media is trying to hide the sting of American soldiers dying from home-made bombs. Doesn’t IED sound so much more technologically advanced than a “home-made bomb”?

I fear the day when doctors ask patients for PPFS. Yes, that is right, PPFS — PrePost-Processed Food Substance.

“Sir, we’re not sure what you have, but if you could give us a PPFS sample, we’ll run that over to the lab to have it looked at.”

To those that obscure English: STFU.

I know this happened on my wife’s iPhone and this recently happened to my iPhone (again).  The email address auto-complete started to fail.  It used to be: I click in the To: field and type “e” and my wife’s name and email address would pop up.  Just a few days ago, this stopped working — [...]

I know this happened on my wife’s iPhone and this recently happened to my iPhone (again).  The email address auto-complete started to fail.  It used to be: I click in the To: field and type “e” and my wife’s name and email address would pop up.  Just a few days ago, this stopped working — very annoying.  I tried clearing the user dictionary, but that didn’t work.  I tried a reset and that didn’t work.  I tried restoring my iPhone and then restoring my settings — that didn’t work.  The only thing that worked?  Restoring my iPhone to factory without restoring from a backup.  Very annoying!  Apple needs to create a way of letting users “forget” or reset the auto-completed address cache.  Auto-complete is very useful, but it shouldn’t take a complete restore of the iPhone in order to make it work again!

So, this whole steroids thing is just plain stupid — I am not going to use the term “Human Growth Hormone” or HGH, because it is what it is: Steroids. Check out Andy Pettitte who came out and “apologized” this weekend. Here’s what he said:
“I didn’t do it to try to get [...]

So, this whole steroids thing is just plain stupid — I am not going to use the term “Human Growth Hormone” or HGH, because it is what it is: Steroids. Check out Andy Pettitte who came out and “apologized” this weekend. Here’s what he said:

“I didn’t do it to try to get an edge on anyone, I didn’t do it to try to get stronger, faster or to throw harder.”

Really? So, why did you take steroids?

“I did it because I was told that it might be able to help me.”

So, let me get this straight. You took steroids to help yourself. But, you didn’t take them to help yourself get the edge on anyone. Nor did you take them to help yourself get stronger, faster or to throw harder. So, why the hell did you take the steroids? What were you looking for the steroids to help you do? Fly like Superman? Leap over tall buildings? Did you take the steroids to help your health decline? Oh, I know, you took the steroids to help you become a better person!

No, actually, he took steroids because he thought it would help him heal faster from his injuries.  Isn’t that trying “to get an edge” on other players?  I mean, if your fellow player is injured, he sits his ass out of the game until he heals.  You sought a way to get an edge on him by using steroids to heal faster.  What a sad excuse.

Cripes! If you’re going to apologize, then do it right! Admit it: You, Andy Pettitte, took steroids so that you could get the edge on other players. You, Andy Pettitte, took steroids so that you could get stronger, faster or to throw harder. Stop being such a dumb-ass. And, please don’t think that people are stupid as you are — we can see through your act.  Apology not accepted.