Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows

There is only one thing cool about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (TMNTOOTS) and that is that Paramount allowed for the Paramount Pictures logo sequence at the start to be changed. Instead of the standard flying stars that fly towards and surround the Paramount mountain, the stars have been changed to be shurikens. Very cool. And then, everything goes down hill from there.

Someone in the script department forgot that movies need a plot for audiences to follow. Although the movie seems to be made for kids, it also seems that Paramount let kids write the script. The movies plot is near non-existent and the characters all speak in quips rather than fully formed conversations. There is a theme running through the film of family and brotherhood, but it really doesn’t get explored much and is sidelined by some rather bland – though very loud – action sequences.

If most everything in these films are going to be computer generated, why bother to have these films be live action? The TMNT TV show on Nickelodeon is much better than the movies. This movie cost an estimated $135 million dollars to make, from the looks of it, most of that money was spent on special effects. My kids walked out and watched a little of the film before becoming bored with it (this is a eight and nine year old). The nine year old said that Mikey did not sound like Mikey from the TV show and was disappointed that the voice actor changed for the film.

Did anyone send a memo to Laura Linney that this movie is for kids? Because she is an excellent actor when given the right material, but it was strange to see her in this movie – and even then, she seemed to be giving it her all when she was onscreen, why so serious Laura? Megan Fox, you need to find better movies to be in. Stephen Amell, really? And Tyler Perry, ugh, Tyler Perry.

This movie was a $1 Blu-ray rental from Redbox and I question if it was even worth the $1. If I had paid for a full-priced ticket to see this movie in a the theater, I would have walked out of the theater disappointed and angry. The bottom line is this: Don’t waste your time or money on this film. Yes, it has made lots of money around the world and will probably spawn yet-another-sequel. But, it is not worth it. There is nothing noteworthy about the film, even Will Arnett can’t help this movie.

One of the characters asks, “What would Vin Diesel do?” My guess is that Vin Diesel would not be watching this mess.