In The Lost Lands

I knew exactly what I was getting into when I saw that this movie was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.

I can’t think of many films I would call ugly, so The Lost Lands is special: It’s a rather ugly movie. Having ssaid that, there is an unrealness to the visuals. Landscapes stripped of saturation, replaced with overblown golden warm light. Interiors that are rotting with a stench that comes through the screen. An abundance of lens flares which cuts through the visuals as if Anderson attended a J.J. Abrams cinematography class.

Milla Jovovich and Dave Bautista lack any energy in the movie, which is surprising given that both are producers.

I would try to write a synopsys of the movie, but I don’t even think the writers know what story they wanted to tell. Worse yet, the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious.

“All men are beasts.” Followed by: “But not all men are monsters.”

“A clever man might choose to kill his client on the road and take his payment early. But no one ever accused me of being a clever man.”

This movie lacks any sense of subtely. An example being a place named Skull River which is literally a river full of skulls.

The greatest crime of this 101 minute movie is that it’s boring, really boring. There’s too much bad dialogue, too little action. Too many characters, not enough character development. Too much trying to be clever, nothing to back that up.

One day, we’ll get a good Anderson x Jovovich movie. I admire their tenacity and persistence.