Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver

2 out of 10

Hit Me Up

There were no surprises here. This movie is Zack Snyder parodying himself.

There’s way too much slow motion – with no reason at all.

There are a lot of characters, none of them memorable – and there is a long sequence in the middle of the movie where each of the main characters (five or so) all take turns telling their life story – just long exposition voiceovers. That’s on top of the opening of the movie where there was quite a bit of exposition that included names and names and names.

The action is a snooze because it is so overdone and layered with so much CGI that it all feels unreal (in a bad way). Because the action looks fake, there’s never any real thrill to it. It also doesn’t help that it is layed with a slathering of Synder’s slow motion (and also slow motion on top of slow motion).

Ed Skrein’s character is just evil for evil’s sake. The character is paper thin. He has super human reflexes and powers because… well, we don’t know. He jumps and lands with a pose because… well, because it’s supposed to look cool.

Remember that robot that Anthony Hopkin’s voiced for two minutes in the first movie and then disappeared? It reappears and then disappears and then reappears. It’s as if they didn’t have enough budget to pay for Hopkin’s work.

Here’s the problem with Snyder: He’s not a storyteller, he thinks he is, but he is not. He should not be writing scripts. He creates some stunning visuals, but the visuals are empty without any substance to make them mean something.

I was bored by this movie, even if the last 45 minutes was choke full of action, none of it was exciting or engaging – especially after being beaten over the head with not only a long slow motion montage sequence of people farming, but also a long slow motion montage of people preparing for battle.

I do not recommend this movie. Ask yourself, do you really want to watch six Rebel Moon movies? If not, skip this and the rest.

Notes

There’s a lot of exposition. Lots of people just talking. Snyder doesn’t know how to show not tell.

Their defense shield? Bags of grain!

Nothing as invigorating and engaging as slow motion farming.

The round table exposition for the main characters is an example of why Snyder shouldn’t write scripts. He doesn’t know how to storyteller, only how to create meaningless imagery.

Much like how Michael Bay has become a paradox of himself, Zack Snyder achieved the same.

The stupid robot thinks he is Superman complete with the landing pose too. Where was he during the first parts of the flight when people are dying?

So many explosion shockwaves.

Where were the fighter plane people during the real battle?

Why so serious Titus?